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The Silence of Solitude

Posted on by Spark Editors Under:Poetry Tagged with:,

by Hema Nair

Hema Nair’s poem talks about the silence born of loneliness—a silence that can be deafening. This solitude comes from an inability to love because of self-imposed boundaries. Enveloped in an introspective silence, though, we can seek to understand ourselves, attempt to change, or be stoic in our acceptance.

I am outside the window, looking in
I see smiles, affection
Warm fire of love burning
But I don’t go in
I may be welcomed
But I fear being ignored.

The draught of a cold stare
Or vacuum of an impenetrable space I may walk into
Holds my feet frozen
And so I stay out, looking in
I will stay a while, even though I shouldn’t
It’s cold outside and the longing will only worsen

But I can’t seem to stay away
Force my legs to wander away
When I do stroll on
It is with a studied nonchalance
Blinking to clear my eyes
Rubbing my palms like I care a damn

My shadow and I
We head back home
I’ll light my own fire to thaw my soul
Drink warm ale or clean out my loft
Waiting endlessly for those who never come in
Choices, regrets and silences
I’m no longer an outsider looking in

Hema Nair was an avid reader through childhood and youth, but her desire to study literature was thwarted by a predetermined career in Medicine and better prospects. She juggles her day job as a cardiac anesthetist, with ungodly hours spent writing prose and poetry. She has been published in The Hindu, and online magazines like Confluence, Madras Courier and The Good Men Project.

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