by Mayur J. Raol
We are often unable to let things take their own course. The idea of ‘letting something go’ necessitates that we do not doubt our own actions, own convictions. Mayur’s poem is a lament by a voice that makes an appearance in our lives once too often.
I think twice,
the things I do, I do twice,
once to do, once to make sure I did.
For me, déjà vu isn’t rare or new.
It’s me, over and over again,
I ponder, repeat, rerun,
I move to act, I halt to think –
Why can’t it be different I ask?
What if I just took off,
without hesitation, without fear,
with no knowledge of what’s to come?
Would it be any different?
Will I rise from my despair,
freeing my limbs from cuffs
that I had slapped on willingly
because I so dearly loved life,
and begin to live once,
do things once, and
never double back,
soar high and far,
from where doubt can never bait me again?
Or would I immediately regret
my flight, taken in haste,
hoping to grow wings on my way down?
Would I fall into an abyss
and lay motionless at the bottom,
my mind running furiously
through all that may have been?
Had I again, just once again,
doubted myself?
Mayur J. Raol is a writer, film director and advertising professional, who lives and works in Bangalore, India. He loves to cook, read books on zoology and visit museums. Having travelled, lived and studied in various cities and countries, Mayur often bases his characters and stories on people who he briefly encounters, but make him ‘refresh’ his world-view.
