by Shreya Ramachandran
[box]Life has its own, sometimes weird way of teaching us. No matter what, though, the lesson sticks. Shreya Ramachandran tells us what she learnt in the course of a few months, and how it’s made her happy. [/box]What is the definition of ‘life’? Marvellously, though we can ascribe a trite thirty-word summary to any phenomenon or process that exists in the world, we cannot define life itself. Biology may advance to obscene levels of progress, and the written word might grow more powerful with every weblog that the Internet boasts of. Yet, neither the trained laboratory nor the pen put to paper can provide the definition of life.
I am neither a scholar nor a saint, but my own offering to the question is that life is only to be learnt from. It is a teacher with endless reserves of patience. It has taught me a lesson: it is vital to be self-indulgent.
Last year, I made four very close friends. I faced uncomfortable situations with each of the four. With Friend One, I found that though he might have been a priority to me, I was one on his list of options. There is no fair and just balance between how much you care for a person and how much the person cares for you. Friend Two and I had co-founded a newsletter, but she informed me on the phone that though she wanted to be involved in the newsletter’s management, she was simply too busy with the pressing matters of daily life. Friend Three would frequently insult me and write it off on her own large ego. Friend Four and I were put into different sections at school since we take different subjects, and I found that within literally one day of our separation, she had replaced me with one of her classmates.
All of these incidents occured in the same month. These four friends had become such an important part of my emotional and mental life that I had changed my entire mindset because of them. I became more open with my feelings. I spent most of my time helping them with their problems; coaching them through their stresses. I felt as though their lives were more real to me than my own. I had forgotten to value myself and my own thoughts and opinions.
The same month, my favourite jeans tore at the thigh. I had owned these jeans for five years. Suddenly, with no warning, I found that they were damaged for good. I took the jeans to three different tailors, and finally was able to patch up the tear. Still, the darning came loose at the stitches. I had to relegate these jeans to the dustiest corner of my sacred closet.
Finally, I realised that the only thing common in all the friendship breakdowns was the fact that I had ignored my own personal views in favour of those of my four friends. This is when I understood what Teacher Life was trying to tell me: It is so important not to lose your own voice in the chaos of the yells and shouts of the people surrounding you.
All the unravelling was happening so fast that I was not sure what life was teaching me. It took a lot of time spent with Tata Sky Plus and Uncle Chipps for me to recover from the initial shock.
My life lesson is that sometimes, it is necessary to indulge yourself. If you have a certain thought or opinion, it is important and does not need to be compromised. You do not have to go out of my way to be there for others; you need to work harder on being there for yourself.
Thank you, Teacher Life!
