by Preeti Shenoy
[box]Spark asked Preeti Shenoy how she would relate ‘seasons’ to the stages in a person’s life. The result is an interesting take on the subject. Plus, there’s a bonus. The writer talks about an interesting question that has played an important role at different points in her life – a question that can set you thinking too! Here’s some food for thought.[/box] [box type=”bio”]Preeti Shenoy is the author of the book “34 Bubblegums and Candies” published by Srishti Publishers. Many of her articles have also been published in various Indian newspapers and magazines. She loves to write poetry and also enjoys painting, particularly in watercolours and oils. She does human portraiture too. Preeti, who is already working on her second book, which will be a full-length fiction, writes in the popular blog – http://justamotheroftwo.blogspot.com. [/box]On Seasons and Stages
The easiest way to approach this would be to treat it like a school essay and compare childhood to spring, youth to summer, middle-age to autumn and old age to winter, although that is really not what I believe in.
I do think with each ‘stage of life’ there would probably be some ‘duties and responsibilities’ that one has to perform. But one need not be restricted in living a complete life just because of these duties. They should, in fact, free you, not tie you down. Life is so transient that the only constant thing in it is change. I am a true believer of the saying ‘Whatever happens, happens for the best.’ When one thinks thus, what seems like the bleakest of winters today might actually turn out to be the most vibrant spring with the liveliest flowers you have ever seen.
I think, to call each phase of your life a ‘season’ would really be a boxed in way of looking at life. It seems to imply that once something has passed you can never get it back again and that ‘there is an age’ for everything. It is like saying that you are now old or young and you are relegated to this role and you should behave in a certain manner as you ‘fit into this season’. That is quite not correct. You can be old at twenty five and young at fifty three. What truly matters here is your enthusiasm for life, your outlook and what you believe in. I know some remarkable people who are above 60, yet live life to the fullest. They are fit, they are healthy and none of the so called age related ailments seem to have come anywhere near them. What season can you slot them into? Nothing really! So life is really not about seasons—it is about reasons! A reason to live can fuel you and keep you going. The point is it is never too late to start living your life fully! And, that’s why it is important to ask yourself this question – ‘What is the meaning of my life?’
The question ‘What is the meaning of life?’ would have occurred to anyone who takes time to pause and contemplate a little. So many philosophers have spent entire lifetimes answering this very question!
How can life be made more meaningful? Is there a ‘purpose’? What if you were to die tomorrow? How will you spend the last 24 hours that you have? What are the things that will truly matter then? If one were to ask these questions and if one were to truly live by the answers he or she provides, I think the person will automatically find the meaning of life.
I read once that on the day of your death the amount of money you have in your bank account is the ‘extra work’ that you need not have done! A must watch movie in this regard is ‘The Bucket List’. Everyone should have a ‘bucket list’ to appreciate fully the meaning of life.
Each second that passes brings us that much closer to our date of death.
The Interesting Question!
A morbid thought, no doubt, but it drives home the point as to how limited time truly is and why it should be completely utilised to live a fuller and a more meaningful life. You can do this only if you ask these questions and the answers will be your blueprint for life!
You can ask these questions anytime to find the meaning of life. For, it is never too late to start to live fully! Sometime back I came across a beautiful visual on the Internet, which asked this question
“How old would you be if you did not know how old you are?”
It made me think a lot.
You are in the driver’s seat of your life at all times. The choices you make are yours. The path you take is yours. The attitude you have determines how happy the passengers in your car will be. And finally the journey sometimes becomes more important than the destination!
“Daddy, what is the meaning of life?”
I must have been about 9 when I first asked my dad this question. Looking back now, it seems profound, but when you have been raised on a diet of unconventional parenting techniques stemming from books like ‘I’m OK, you’re OK’, I guess it really isn’t that out of place as it initially seems. Anyway, it was not unusual for me to have deep, philosophical discussions with dad, and a question like this that has been the discussion of philosophers for centuries, was I suppose, natural for a very contemplative child.
Dad had an answer for me. He said that the meaning of life at that point in time, was to excel in academics. I did just that.
When I asked the Question..
When I was 11, I discovered basket-ball and my passion, craze and obsession for it. It was my religion, my mantra, my salvation, my everything. I used to cycle 5.5 Km at 5:30 am in the morning, just to play. Hours turned into seconds when I was on the basket-ball court. There was a selection round for the school team—and all the others who were trying out for it were 15 or 16. I insisted I be given a chance. They saw potential in me, marked me as ‘promising’, but I did not make it. The twelve who were chosen were all 15 years old or above. My friends told me that it was okay, as I was just 11. It was not okay for me. I asked dad again the meaning of life, and he told me it was to “Try, try and try again till I succeed.” I believed him. About eight months later, I was the youngest player in the school team. That year I also played in the school-regional tournament, representing my region. The next year, I was selected for the Junior School Nationals and I continued getting selected, year after year, till I finished school, attending numerous coaching camps, travelling to various places in the country, staying in sports hostels, enjoying every single minute of it. When I came back from these tournaments and Sports camps, I worked doubly hard and excelled at academics, partly because I wanted to prove that being good at sports does not mean that your academics have to suffer and partly because I still stuck to the original meaning of life.
I grew up, finished college, started working, changed jobs, got married and had my first baby. I asked dad again “What is the meaning of life?” He said it was to give the best I could to my family and to be there for my children, when they needed me, just as he was there for me.
His words, like always had such a deep impact. Looking back now, I think the early years which I spent with my children, when they were babies, were some of the happiest in my life. I still think being a good mother is a great achievement, simply because it is one of the toughest things I have done and am doing. I enjoy it immensely.
My kids are now at an age when they don’t need me as much as they did earlier. They are 10 and 7, and very independent. Soon I know, they will ask me what the meaning of life is. (And my dad has shown me what exactly to say!)
Things change. That is the law of life. Now my dad is not around to answer my questions any more. But I sure know what the meaning or purpose of my life is. This poem by Bessie Stanley (erroneously sometimes attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson) captures it so well:
To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded.
What is the meaning of your life? Ever thought about it?
Pics : dutts303 – http://www.flickr.com/photos/dutts303/
crystaljingsr – http://www.flickr.com/photos/crystaljingsr/
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