by Chandramohan Nair
The moment she woke up
On a crisp Sunday morning
She knew
It was going to be one of those days
One of those days
Presaged by a tiresome week
Of rude superiors and rushed deadlines
Colleagues too busy to share a smile
And the weariness of the daily commute
Leading to a night of fitful sleep
That brought back distressing memories
Of a childhood
Planned to perfection
Both at home and at school −
What to wear, what to eat
When to study, when to play,
Leaving all her childish longings
Stifled in her mind
And memories of a gentle lady wearing white
Beseeching her parents
(Who looked hurt and angry)
“This child is anxious and depressed
Allow her to do some things of her liking
To sing, to dance, to draw or paint
And she will be all right again”
A hasty breakfast
Of burnt toast and bitter marmalade
Washed down with some instant coffee
And she was ready for the day
One of those days
When she knew she could fall prey
To impulses beyond her control
She walked to the supermarket
A spanking new one down the street
The buzz of excitement inside
Only adding to her anxiety
She looked nervously
At the signage around
And much to her relief
The items on offer
Seemed just fresh food and groceries
Relaxed, she worked her way
Through her shopping list
Humming a refrain
To the soothing store music
Almost done, she wondered
Why a crowd of children
Were milling around
A corner of the store
“No, they surely can’t have…”
She thought as she walked
To the spot
Her heart all aflutter
But they DID –
And transfixed she stood
Like a moth by a flame
At the sight of the stationery
Spread gaily before her
Sketch pens and colour pencils
Gel crayons and oil pastels
Paint cakes and tubes
Drawing books and modelling clay
All resplendent in a riot of color
A sight she could not resist
And in a trance she remained
Till she left the store
Her check-out incomplete
Half-expecting to be stopped
And be shamed by the world
For some items taken gratis
Relief and euphoria
Was what she felt
When she reached back home
And looked at her booty −
Face aglow with delight
She could now spend the day
With pens and pencils
Crayons and paint
Painting and drawing
To her heart’s satisfaction
And escape to a childhood
That she never really had
It was one of those days
That came once in a while
