by Rajlakshmi Kurup
Desire – the word has so many meanings, as many connotations. The irony about the word is that it is so gender-specific. When a man has desires, he is desirable but when a woman has desires, she becomes despicable. The word ‘desire’ is typically used to convey a strong feeling of wanting something, and strong sexual appetite. Sadly, most of us in general associate desire with the latter meaning. That is perhaps why the word attains such different connotations for two genders. Yet again, desire is such a word that whatever meaning one attributes to it, the former or the latter, the word does not have a desirable impact on women.
Be it any meaning, when it comes to women, she is desirable only when she has no desires. A wife cannot have desire (with the latter meaning) while ‘a woman of the house’ cannot have desires (with the former meaning). Yet, this is a world where half of the its working population, whether at home or outside, is women. This is also a time when women sit at the top and make decisions that churn the wheels of the global economy.
It is also true that women who ‘have it all’ or who do not ‘have it all’ have at least once in their life faced the question “‘Why do you have so much desire?” and also been advised ”Don’t desire too much. Be content with what you have.”
This is the world that searches for Sunny Leone’s photos and more on the net but at the same time, laments her desire to be in the mainstream, on social media platforms. It is the case of desiring her from one end and lampooning her from the other for her desire.
Yet, doesn’t the world ride on this word ‘desire’? A new generation is born out of desire, the world runs about to meet the desires of its family and society, the dominant forces work overtime to suppress the desires of lower class, the latter living each day with a desire to uproot the dominant class and so on.
The world can be a desirable place to live in only when desires become gender-neutral, not just with regard to its meaning but also its application It is when ambitions and aspirations become embellishment and not stigma that we can call ourselves a cultured society and a progressive nation. Following lines can sum up what a woman feels when she has to face gender stereotypes just because she desired to…stand for herself, fend for herself and live for herself.
Desiring to desire, I became undesirable
If ‘desire’ is a wrong word, why was I born, a result of an ardent ‘desire’?
If being a woman is undesirable, why is she a victim of desires?
If desire meant a need or an aspiration, why is it that you desire that I have no desires?
Yet again, I want to scream and say it is this desire of yours to subjugate me that makes me want to rise like a phoenix and walk with pride with a heart and body full of desires.
Rajlakshmi Kurup is a freelance writer.
Pic : https://www.flickr.com/photos/djking/
