by Anupama Krishnakumar
It’s been crazy − the last few months.
Changes aplenty, rushing forward
to embrace you, as you reluctantly
step back, wondering if you should
welcome them or push them back
with a firm hand.
But who are you, really, to have
a say in certain things about life?
Resist not, you tell yourself, go
with the flow. Take life as it comes –
with all its surprises, its trials and
tribulations.
And so, you trudge along, aligning
with changed schedules, evolving
children, and newer responsibilities.
Chief of all though, you try to resurrect
a bit of your earlier self – going back to
a way of life from almost a decade ago.
More time for yourself. More time with
yourself. But didn’t it look all rosy and
picturesque and perfect in your imagination?
Reality, though, has turned out a tad harder
and testing. It isn’t actually going the way
you thought it would.
You told yourself: Read a lot. Write a
lot. Go out a lot. Cycle a lot. Walk a lot. And
work a lot. When the kids are away at school
the entire day. ‘Ah, ah,’ said life. ‘Wait, my dear!
Such gorgeous plans.’ And then it showed what
you got wrong: you over-planned.
And so, you learnt to temper it down. You
figured out that certain frictional elements
were at play; that you can never have all the
time you have, for only what you want to do.
‘Hey, over-excited kid,’ you told yourself,
‘Watch it. Prioritise. And wait.’ So you did.
It still isn’t easy. But you at least know how
it all plays out. So, when you hear a piece
of music, or watch your children water a
new rose plant together or see a person
dear to you suffer, you wait patiently,
till the right time arrives.
The words then take birth on paper
and the writer in you finds a release.
You feel relieved, you feel light. And in
a moment of blissful understanding, you
aren’t flustered, you aren’t desperate.
All you do is to decide to wait
for the rest of your plans to work out too.
