by Jenani Parthasarathy
I had sworn to myself that I would never write ever again, thanks to some bad experiences. I had been living up to it for several years. And now, a few years mature, I see that breaking promises is sometimes more gratifying than living up to them because it made sense at that point in time.
Having decided to begin writing all over again, I was faced with an overpowering sense of a writer’s block. I contemplated where I should begin – my life, about work or politics, the most talked-about love or the politics of life, love and work. I would get quite confused and end up staring at a blank document for about 55 seconds after which I would either fall asleep or move on to studying another set of PowerPoint slides. I was almost letting it go when the idea struck me.
I don’t let go of things easily. Being persistent, passionate and never giving up are some of the skills I acquired from my father. His story of how he studied under the street lights, helped run his family, won many laurels in his graduation, went on to do several degrees and professional certifications – his last one at the age of 46 – is always inspiring. I believe that being tenacious gives one higher levels of confidence. Every time one quits or doesn’t give their best, whether the task is too difficult or they just lose interest, they lose confidence. Stick things out, complete them well to boost up that level of confidence. These days, I make a deliberate effort to be persistent and I have seen it work in my life. Here are some instances.
One – I am a wife, a mother and also a university student trying to make a professional career. I have to be honest about the fact that it is very hard and stressful balancing home and school. While this is true for every working woman out there, it’s especially tough for me because I am not a smart cookie and I am literally lowering our bank balance with every semester. Some courses are a cake walk and some make me go why-on-earth-am-I-doing-this.
During such times, I am almost on the verge of breaking into truckloads of tears. But what keeps me going? A practical aim would be to finish my studies, get a job and build up the lost savings. But that’s not it. I do it because I am not afraid to work hard. Despite a couple of successes and many failures, I still sincerely believe that hard work pays off. Letting it go at this time would not make any sense at all, after all the time, effort and money I have spent. And moreover, ‘Never give up’ could be one of the best lessons from my life to give to my kid.
Two – I learnt and am still learning Carnatic music for many years now. I have been fortunate to learn from some of the doyens of Carnatic music world. A typical class would involve a teacher demonstrating a particular sangathi (the way a line in the song is sung) and the students would try to grasp and repeat it. Years ago, when I was a child/teenager, there was this particularly difficult composition of a dharu varnam (a type of song specifically designed for Bharathanatyam). After a few lines of the song, it breaks into several jathis (beats for the dance) which are sung at two different speeds. I still remember how I practiced it fervently within a night and sang it the next day without referring the book, not even a glance.
This isn’t just about a kid learning to sing a song; life is a lot like a song, with each one of us having a tune of our own. We put in our best ability and creativity to make it worth listening. On a personal note, the day I sang that whole song for the first time, I felt a sense of accomplishment and gratification within. I feel it to this day every time I think of it or sing the song. That was the gift I received for not quitting to learn the song because it was tough.
Now, whenever I feel low or discouraged in my studies, I think of this particular incident. It motivates me to not let it go yet, urges me to try even harder than before, makes me yearn for that sense of accomplishment.
Three – The other day my kid and my husband was playing soccer shots. It is fun and entertaining to observe the two in play. I noticed my husband scored goals a number of times. But it didn’t affect my child as he was still a kid (imagine an adult – read Luis Suarez in this place). But after sometime, he scored a goal (well, my husband let him). That immediately lit up his face and he was jumping with joy. That incident or rather my husband, taught my kid a very important lesson, in a way to me too. It is a competitive world out there. No matter what you do, you bet it will be tough to achieve your dreams. But that doesn’t mean you let it
I have applied this idea to several situations in my life. For instance, parenting has changed my world view completely, in a good way. I have made several careful and conscious choices for my kid is always watching and learning things from me. A simple example would be about eating. From the time he was an infant, I made sure he tasted all kinds of food, vegetables and fruits. Trust me when I say it was not an easy task. Every time I fed him something new, he would throw up. But I was determined and today it has paid off. I feel a small sense of accomplishment when I boast that my kid eats everything (I say ‘small accomplishment’ because now I have a huge responsibility of making sure he follows it diligently!)
Now, there were situations where I couldn’t apply the ‘Don’t let it go’ principle and honestly, I had to let it go. But I have always tried to be persistent and stubborn with things I encounter. At the end of the day, this way, at least I know I tried my best even if it meant eventually giving in.
What could it take? I’d suggest infusing your life with action. Make a list of need-to-change things and be mindful about overcoming them. You could experience a myriad of emotions in the process but it will always be worth it in the end. There may be times where you are tempted to quit but at such instances, think about why you started in the first place.
P.S. – For the Carnatic music lovers, the song I practiced and sang was Mathe Malayadhwaja in Kamaas. It was also featured in the movie, The Morning Raga.
Simple and straight from the gut! Kudos on getting to the point, which is something most writers struggle with! Love this!