Interview by Anupama Krishnakumar
[box] Want to have a good laugh and giggle a bit? Then all you got to do is to read this interview! And when you are done, you will realize that there’s a smile or a grin on your face! There’s lot of humour, a little bit of thought and tons of attitude waiting for your out there! Just go and grab it! Kartik Iyengar answers Anupama Krishnakumar’s questions in the same jolly-good feel that his first book bursts with! [/box] [box type=”bio”] Kartik Iyengar, author of ‘Horn OK Please’ – HOPping to Conclusions’, in addition to being a successful corporate professional, dabbles in a multitude of areas. He is an avid blogger, a self-proclaimed moron, an unlucky Las Vegas loser, a compulsive road-hog, a Red Bull addict and an adrenaline junkie who has tried everything from scuba diving to bungee jumping. A cockroach-loving heavy metal maniac, Kartik has thousands of hyper-active fans on his Facebook fan page, who live his journeys vicariously with him. His fans call themselves HOPpers. In fact, many of them have actually changed their middle name to include “Hopper” as a mark of belonging to this social-media cult.[/box]Horn Ok Please’. That’s quite a title – I mean who would have imagined that something one usually sees behind a lorry becomes the title of a book! What was the intention behind the title? Sure, there’s some philosophy waiting to be told to the world?
Kartik Iyengar
‘Horn OK Please’. I chose this title for it’s a philosophy that runs deep in us Indians and I’m a very deep person – well, at least as deep as a bedpan. It’s an urban philosophy, where we drive like crazy with absolutely zero civic sense and loads of attitude. It also reflects a deep-rooted Indian disregard for anything that binds us such as rules, laws and progress. It’s the very philosophy that our leaders today teach us to survive in India. We learn how to pillage, loot and live in an utter state of lawlessness, and honk with no regard to others, at anyone. I just made all this up right now just to sound deep and intelligent. No. There is no philosophy.
You say ‘You do not read, you decided to write.’ What a reason! What’s the motive behind the inclination to turn the more intelligent ones into morons too? ;). And, how did it all begin?
Spot on! It’s better to be self-deprecating than give others a chance to voice their opinions. After all, a wise man once said, “Opinions are like ass-holes, everybody’s got one.” In our lives, while there are always a bunch of detractors in no matter what we choose to do, not everybody chooses to follow their dreams. In India, especially, we do have a bunch of educated illiterates who like to run down the efforts of others simply because they could never rise above mediocrity – I’ve seen that many times. Anyone beyond mediocrity runs the risk of being called a maverick or a moron. If you succeed, you’re an awesome planner but if you fail, you’d face the wrath. So, why not call yourself a moron and try to beat mediocrity in your own terms? Why not try to make others go your way?
When I began reading the book, I tried too much to find out where it was heading and then I realised I should just stop thinking! And then it all started to make sense! :D. From your POV, what made you believe that the book will keep the reader hooked inspite of the fact that “one could choose to read the book from front to back or in reverse and still be assured it wouldn’t make any sense.”?
That’s the whole point. We’re so attuned to ‘thinking’, being ‘logical’, that we forget to dream. While dreams shape imagination, thoughts are merely the speed-breakers in execution. In a journey called life, if everybody decided to follow a set path laid out by the dream ‘thinkers’, who would ever dare to ‘dream’? Why give something that is expected? Why should we not try to break the mould with utter stupidity? Wasn’t Forrest Gump stupid?
It appears that you believe in seeing the humour behind situations so much so that you have a comic point to make from everything to the road to the hospital to the corporate world. Has that made your life any easier, at least your life on Bangalore roads?
I believe there are two ways to approach anything – the right way and the wrong way. With ‘Horn OK Please’, I want people to realise that we believe we have the right of way and hence we honk like crazy.If I could make light of any situation – my passion for the road is just one such – It makes me keep my sanity and leaves the hair on my head intact. More so, there is absolutely no need for youth to take everything so seriously, we’ll all turn out just fine. If we can be a bit more chilled out in life, the constipation of daily existence would never tie us down and we can dream on to make a better world.
After reading this book, I am curious to know how you will define these:
Indian Roads: Similar to our anatomy. For, what goes in through arterial roads (small intestine) or the national highways (Large Intestines) comes out like shit. That’s a feeling one gets after stepping out of one’s SUV after a drive in India.
Beer: Beverage for the King-pisser.
Swear Words: That’s the worst fucking habit. Go wash your mouth with soap. If you’re mute – then go wash your hands after swearing.
Roadie life: It’s my way ‘AND’ the highway. There’s nothing ‘OR’ about my life.
Logic: My ass.
Indian Politics: TheNational septic tank where goons in night-gowns are born.
India, the good: An educated, progressive nation that can get over a colonial hangover of the past and realize that India resides in cities, not villages. Bring voting to Facebook and I’ll be your next President.
India, the bad: A nation of very selfish individuals who do not care.
India 2.0: A 100% literate society that respects what Mahatma Gandhi really fought for and makes him proud. A nation that will make education free and compulsory for the girl child till the age of 18, a nation where rapists will be swiftly given capital punishment.
I ask you this again: why did you write this book? (well, if you still haven’t got it, here we go: I would like you to also add this portion on to your response – ‘on a more serious note….’ and tell us the serious bit too…please! 🙂 )
On a serious note? Here’s my best shot – We all have something special about us. We need to use that to do something good for the society,
make it a better world for children. I can pretend to write while I sell thousands of copies while you pretend to be a reader and buy many copies. The money goes to the Tibetan Children’s Village in Ladakh & to the Mahesh Memorial Foundation in Chennai. So I write like crazy.
You have been mesmerising people into changing their middle names to ‘HOPper’, thanks to your book and of course, HOP’s FB page! What would life have been without Facebook? 🙂
I love my fans and there are many of them for probably we are all birds of a feather and we flock together at www.facebook.com/hopfans. There are more than 100,000 visits to the page every day and every post of mine gets 10,000 views on an average. What it means is that I’ve barely scratched the surface. Name change or no name change, I love each one of them and try to be as close to them as possible for that’s what the Dalai Lama taught me – “Pride, not arrogance”.
You have been doing wonders with your FB page – one that has 20k+ followers (and not to mention..counting!) and who played a big role in the book taking shape. And now, I want to torture you with my questions! 🙂
1)Was the FB page a completely planned move or it happened just like that?
The best things in life happen in a heartbeat and then we try to find reasons for their success. Truth is – I started it one insane night, I live it and it’s now become a cult thanks to every HOPper out there.
2)The book and the page have become so popular today. And am sure you are delighted. What is the reason you think these clicked in such a big way?
Wrong question to ask me, I do not ‘think’. I’m just delighted for ‘The Reason’ is just a song by an awesome band called ‘Hoobastank’.
3)The HOPpers, I think, have done quite a bit of work for this book. What are some of the things that they did?
We all designed the cover, decided what would go inside the book, how much it would be priced for and which charitable causes I would embrace with the book. In short, it is the ‘Holy Blook’ (Best –loo Book) written by 100,000 people. It is ‘OUR’ book and the second one’s coming out this Christmas.
4)You met some of these HOPpers during the road trip. How was the experience?
It’s been awesome and I meet them all the time. Some of them have been awesome and others, well – I cannot kiss and tell. Maybe, I’ll write another book called ‘Porn OK Please’ and you can pick up a copy.
5)What role is the page going to play in your forthcoming books?
(see…I know you can count only till five..:) )
Thank you for respecting the fact that I cannot count beyond five. You can look forward to live vicariously with the main characters of the book. With Chief, Goose, Derek and Hound, the next trip to Ladakh is now being planned for this September, with our lives being beamed out live, Scottie.The role of the page in the forthcoming books will be the same as the first book. Just stay tuned!
Talking of the highlight of your trip, you met The DalaiLama. How was the experience?
The best I could describe in words has been done so in the book. These are probably the only sane chapters in the book. The pictures are on the page and let me just say this – It’s a spiritual feeling that will change you as a person. You run the risk of turning into a human being after that experience.
Lastly, tell us how you are going to bug the lives out of people through the rest of this Blook series! 🙂
You’ve read the first book. If not, just buy it off Flipkart today. The second Blook titled ‘The SCROTUM Scrolls’ is set to release this December. The next ones will be released in quick succession. With these five books in the ‘frivology’ of books, you can expect your IQ to drop sharply till 69. I promise to provide my fans a lust for life, a zest for the living and a zing with humour as I will interact even more intensely via the Facebook page and personal meetings. I’m also planning to get a bigger backseat for ourselves in our beast of a ride called ‘Motormouth’. India 2.0 HOPs. Stay cool and buckle up for a heal ride! You’ll never know what’s coming!
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