Today I Begin to Wonder

by Vyoma Dhar Sharma

[box]A mother wonders how her daughter would perceive her and how she would read her past. Vyoma Dhar Sharma writes a poem that pours out the mother’s questions.[/box]

Today I begin to wonder

Whether you will ever wonder

As I once had, and my mother before me

About what your mother was like

Before your mother she came to be.

 

Your questions will often surprise me

And seldom will I tell the truth

Just as my mother said, “Let me be!”

“I’m oh so busy, can’t you see?”

As I asked her about her departed youth.

 

When you’ll see photos of me and a friend

Will your mind wander beyond the frame?

How were the times that we had spent,

Before that friendship came to an end?

I never did find out who was to blame.

 

As you will go through all my diaries –

There’s no doubt that you one day will –

Will you laugh at my ranting stories?

My foolish self enquiries?

And the dreams I could not fulfil?

 

Will you wish the room of my adolescent days

Could tell you tales of the times long gone?

Who did I criticise? Who did I praise?

Was my first love just a passing phase?

Why did I always appear withdrawn?

 

Did I stay up throughout the night

When relatives and friends came over to stay?

And did we fight –

Yet appeared polite?

Lest each other’s secrets we would betray.

Will I too

Fail to understand you?

Since many blame their mothers for this crime

And will you, too, in years to come

Question yourself in a riddled rhyme?

Vyoma Dhar Sharma is presently enrolled in a Development Studies post graduate program at Tata Institute of Social Sciences, Mumbai and did her Bachelors in English Literature. She finds that writing poetry is not just enjoyable but also somewhat cathartic. She enjoys watching movies, traveling, brooding and also hopes that her desire to compose poetry is carried on through life beyond the residue of teenage angst.

 

 

 

 

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