by Ramya Shankar
[box]Traditional TamBrahm weddings are a stylish affair these days, what with everything appearing choreographed. In fact, down South, marriages are absorbing many North Indian tradition including Mehndi and food. Ramya Shankar discusses the new face of TamBrahm weddings.[/box]Facebook and Twitter are probably the two major social windows to my life in the U.S. Come summer, my news feed is filled with event invites to a dozen weddings, mass photo uploads of aforementioned events and status messages verbose with praises for the spouse. Since my social life has been reduced to these Facebook and Twitter updates, I spend enormous amounts of time gawking (read stalking) at friends’ photos on Facebook. The once lanky girl with the oiled hair effortlessly works a smart Posh Spice bob and wears designer labels. The pimple-faced, sacred-ash smeared boy sports a curly mane large enough to house half a dozen sparrows. He is almost certain to sport a tattoo on his arm. Of course, it would be the run-of-the-mill sun or some profound Chinese symbol that nobody (including him) knows what it means. He sports a stiff white poonal, which in the future, would most likely be neatly tucked away in the closet.
The typical TamBrahm wedding has always been about a lot of smoke generation, teary-eyed’ness (partially attributed to the smoke), prostrating, sacred-ash smearing, hand-shaking and most importantly, feeding the same 600 odd people three times a day for three days. Amidst all this drama, silk-clad aunties tactfully find opportune moments to campaign for their NRI sons.
However, the TamBrahm wedding scene has changed a lot over the years. Ceremonies are no longer the solemn occasions that they used to be. Nowadays, people try too hard to add their personal touch to every little detail of the wedding and are willing to go to any extent to make the event as ostentatious as possible. So much so that the entire event feels less ritualistic and more choreographed. Families are now more open to the concept of Mehndi, Sangeet and Cocktail parties as opposed to making the groom ride in a rickety red convertible car along with half a dozen wailing kids during the Jaanavasam. The kalyana mandapam (Wedding Venue) concept seems to have revolutionized as well. The venues with their flowy fabrics and soft lighting now look like an elaborate set straight out of a Shankar-directed song sequence. Light music during the reception is no longer considered cool. In fact, it represents cheap taste in music. The trend now is to rope in good-looking playback singers who sing contemporary classical songs and on request, their film tracks as well. The more fashionable families do DJ especially when alcohol shares the space. Events of the latter kind usually culminate in orgies.
Buffet options are chosen over elai sapaadu fundamentally to come across as stylish. How exactly are you supposed to eat that 40 item menu with a paper plate in your hand among 599 other people stepping on your feet? Also, I don’t understand what it is with TamBrahms obsessing over North Indian cuisine. Dinner menus are heavily dominated by poorly-made northern delicacies by our South Indian chefs. From the watery tomato soup to several varieties of ice cream and fruit salad, the dinner menu has officially diversified.
The bride and groom wear ethnic designer labels for the reception and no longer do the clichéd ‘groom’s hand on bride’s shoulder while she sits on a chair’ pose. Wedding photographs now reflect scenes out of a Yash Raj movie. DSLRs zoom in on the mangalsutra (which would be hung next to the sacred thread in the future, for all you know!), intertwined fingers of the newlyweds and the backless blouse of the bride with the cheeky butterfly tattoo peeking out. Leaving hair untied is no longer objected to by grandmothers and random aunties with dyed hair. Navel showing and skimpy blouse donning, however, are still considered a sin. The bride and groom’s coolness quotient is often judged by the number of foreigner friends who attend the wedding.
Culture has indeed undergone a change and there has begun a strange adulteration of traditions. Yet, sometimes, certain things boil down to an individual’s choice. It could be all about having a loud pompous celebration to unite with their soul mate or doing just the same in a quiet, happy ritual. Ultimately, it’s just a question of doing what is real fun and what gives you genuine happiness!
Picture 1 : Google Images
Picture 2: Anupama Krishnakumar
Ramya Shankar is a graduate student in the U.S., currently wrapping up her Masters in Computer & Information Sciences. An adventurous person by nature, she loves to try new food, work-out, bake and express her thoughts through her honest words. Always effervescent, she is sure to light up a room with her big smile.
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