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‘Forced Intimacy’, ‘Insomnia’ and ‘Claustrophobia’

by Deepthi Krishnamurthy 

Living in a city is as much about searching for solitude as it is about navigating through loneliness. Deepthi Krishnamurthy addresses the unsettling nature of city life in her three poems about urban commute, restless insomnia and the claustrophobia of the ‘inside’.

Forced Intimacy

In the orgy of humanity
The ebb of urban commute
Candy crush tinkles
Kala chashma on earphones

Armpits smoosh in faces
Crotches rub against asses
Outside, the relentless city
Drenches in rain and light

Through a mesh of straining arms
A cross eye peers at me
I’m not alone
When can I ever be?

Insomnia

I’ve become an insomniac
Sick to the stomach
A nightly cauldron bubbles
Seizes my eyes
Takes them prisoners

I compose all night
Absurd soliloquies
Fill them in bottles
Of sparkling emptiness
They hover and bob
Over the stubborn lights
Of a soulless city

Love and longing languish
Roll restlessly in bed
No fix but to suffer this state
Go deeper
Get it over with
I lie like a corpse
I let it have its way

The city that didn’t sleep
Is awake before dawn
Chirps and honks hurt my ears
The eyes are released
But that hurts too
Daylight filters in
I despise its warmth

The morning is blinding
A vortex of small talk
I spot lonely red eyes
It is a widening network
Of anonymous insomniacs
Hugging their bottles
Of sparkling emptiness

Claustrophobia

I’m inside, I’m working
I’m inside, I’m awake
I’m inside, I’m driving
But all I can think of
Are doors to outside
A few steps, or some more
Swipe out, open the latch
Tug a handle, push a bar
Through a turnstile, break a wall
Beep, click, whoosh
Creak, thud, smash
I’m outside
Now what?

Deepthi works at an e-learning company in Bangalore. She likes taking long walks and writing short stories. She attended the Bangalore Writers Workshop and the short fiction workshop at the Loft Literary Center, Minneapolis.
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